By June (A Guest Writer)
So, a little bit about me. I am married and a mother. I also have a girlfriend, Snow, and a lover, Hatter.
Poly is complicated in the best of times, but let’s add in a pandemic! My husband and I live together and raise our littles together, so that is my innermost circle. We have isolated for months, but I have other relationships to balance as well. My beautiful girlfriend lives about half an hour away and has her live-in partners to think of as well as her kids. My lover lives almost an hour away and has his nesting partner and her kids to think about. So, we have to all think about exposure.
Educated risk used to be in regards to STIs. Now it’s something as simple as who breathed on you. I always check-in before I play with my partners. I say who I was with and if anything happened. There is no control here; it’s just so we know. Both my husband and lover work outside the home and that heightens the risk. As for my girlfriend’s partners, one works from home and the other works outside the home. So, what would my risk level be if I saw all three partners in one night or even week? Let’s say kinda high!
As the cases got lower, I did have a time when I got to see everyone, and I really enjoyed it. Things like going on a hike with my lover or going to see my girlfriend, I would not have thought twice about before, but now it’s calculated. I foresee a rise in cases. Now that the holiday is over, my husband and I decided to do a shut down for our house. We will not be seeing people for the rest of the month. This means lots of text messages with my other people and video chats (sexy or otherwise) for the next month or longer. It makes me sad, but it’s what we have to do for now.
Wants VS Safety
I want to curl up with my girlfriend and watch a movie. I want to go on an adventure with my lover in the woods, but I also care enough about them to not put them or my family at risk. So, poly in a time of COVID is not just the normal balancing the schedules and finding the time for each other. It is also about keeping our tribe, as a whole, safe. About caring enough about your partners to stay away until it is safe for them and you.
I will do my best to make sure that Snow is aware that I am here for her and care dearly for her. I will send Hatter flirty texts and keep the conversation going so that they both know that this is not me pulling away. This is me making the choice to keep everyone as healthy as I can on my part.
What About You?
How are you handling COVID? Are you poly? Are you a swinger? Are you open or mono or something in between? How do you show your tribe that you are still here even when you cannot be physical with them?
Stay safe and remember we are all doing the best we can.